Right Analysis   /   Humor
The Babylon Bee / February 16, 2024

Devout Catholic Joe Biden Gives Up Cognitive Tests for Lent

Biden announced he was also considering giving up talking in coherent sentences and walking in a straight line.

The Babylon Bee / February 14, 2024

Kamala Seen Practicing Her Presidential Cackle

“When we need medicine, we need laughter. Medicine itself is highly medicinal and makes us feel better. And laughter is laughing.”

The Babylon Bee / February 12, 2024

White House Staffers Lock Nukes With New Security Question ‘Which of These Images Shows Mexico’

Staffers say this measure has nothing to do with Biden’s impeccable performance at the press conference last week.

The Babylon Bee / February 7, 2024

Is Your Date Transgender? 10 Signs to Look For

The Bee is here to help you determine your date’s true gender with the following list of signs to watch for.

The Babylon Bee / February 5, 2024

Joe Biden Sees Shadow, Attempts to Shake Its Hand

Biden also predicted another six weeks of “winterburgenphdtughergh.”

The Babylon Bee / February 2, 2024

Mayorkas Says He’s Not Sure How He Can Be Impeached When He Doesn’t Even Do Anything

“I have done literally nothing at all. How can that be a crime?”

The Babylon Bee / January 31, 2024

California Becomes First State to Ban Heterosexual Marriage

The law was met with celebration by everyone still living in California, as they were all gay already.

The Babylon Bee / January 29, 2024

Trump Announces New ‘Trump on Trial’ NFT on Sale for $83.3 Million

The judge reportedly denied Trump’s generous offer to give E. Jean Carroll the NFT as payment in full.

The Babylon Bee / January 26, 2024

Texas Places Razor Wire Around The Alamo for Final Stand Against Biden

“Davy Crockett didn’t have razor wire, or a massive, heavily-armed citizenry. I like our chances.”

The Babylon Bee / January 22, 2024

DeSantis Says He Will Try Running Again When He’s a Senile 75-Year-Old

“My time has not yet come. I still have complete control of my mental and physical faculties.”

The Babylon Bee / January 19, 2024

World Economic Forum Concludes Event With Virgin Sacrifice to Weather Gods to Prevent Climate Change

“Praise be to Klaus Schwab and the deities who thirst for peasant blood.”

The Babylon Bee / January 17, 2024

After Lackluster Showing, Nikki Haley Orders Bombing of Iowa

Support by defense contractors for Haley’s presidential campaign has since quadrupled.

The Babylon Bee / January 12, 2024

History Made as United Airlines Reveals First All-Dachshund Flight Crew

The groundbreaking decision was made as part of a bold initiative to promote an unprecedented level of inclusion.

The Babylon Bee / January 5, 2024

Hillary Clinton Seen at Bass Pro Shops Buying New Sniper Rifle

Sources say her visit has nothing to do with the recent public release of Jeffrey Epstein court records.

The Babylon Bee / January 3, 2024

Claudine Gay Gives Tearful Resignation Speech Entitled ‘Gettysburg Address’

“It’s a tragedy to lose such a gifted writer and orator,” said one 4th-year student who attended the speech.

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